…is missing its footnote (“Blockorama*”).
The Pride Toronto Board be restructured to establish positions for members of specific community representatives and specific community organizations to better reflect the views of such communities in the planning and administration of Pride Toronto operations.
“Members of specific community representatives” and “organizations”? How many layers deep is that, or, stated another way, how many variations of the exact same category of person is that?
Being brutally honest here, you’re setting up tokenized slots for whatever minority groups are in favour with “community” leaders at any given moment. So that would be what, exactly? One vizmin or two? One transgender or five? How many of them would have to be women? What if another minority group, particularly one that isn’t in favour at the time, pops up and claims they’ve been marginalized and discriminated against?
Please honestly state what you are intending to set up and state it in the recommendation. If you want it to happen, you have to want it enough to put it down in writing.
Pride Toronto develop a template for measuring principle-based decision-making in regard to sponsorship consistent with its core mandate. The Panel recommends a scorecard, such as the one set out below, that serves as an audit and tracking tool. This scorecard enables all participants at every level (corporations, Pride Toronto management, and community members) to evaluate sponsorship decisions and ongoing relationships.
Rewrite the first two sentences so they make sense.
No “scorecard” was ever “set out below.”
This one you can’t even read, let alone understand.
A Community Advisory Panel Implementation/Policy Advisory Committee be formed, comprised of at least one Board representative, but consist mainly of a majority of community leaders, especially those with experience in policy development and strategic planning. It is further recommended that the Board of Pride Toronto work in partnership with this panel. This recommendation proposes the establishment of a committee that would be responsible for oversight of the implementation of the Panel’s report and updating the Board and the membership on its progress. This committee would also assist the Board by addressing new policy concerns that arise, which are not contained within this report. This committee would also be responsible for advising the Board and the membership on the format for a review that would take place after the first two years of experience with the Panel’s report. This advice would ensure that this review is properly conducted in a timely fashion.
OK, let’s step through this slowly.
This committee could have exactly one member. How is that a “committee” and not a consultant, or a ruler? (Cf. Case Ootes at Toronto Community Housing.)
But if it doesn’t, you suggest that a majority of members be “community leaders.” (“Mainly” a “majority.”) Why would these members be “community leaders” if their task is to oversee “implementation of the Panel’s report”? Isn’t it a lock that CAP panel members would run this committee? (In principle, “they” wrote the report, though not all actually did.)
Are we talking about two committees or just one?
Define “timely fashion.”
The Board Advisory Committee will assist the Board and its membership in overseeing Pride Toronto’s compliance with the applicable municipal, provincial and federal laws; its obligations imposed by its Letters Patent and Bylaws; and with obligations under funding agreements including the reporting obligations imposed by those agreements, e.g., City of Toronto Equity Guide
…which appears not to exist. What exactly are you referring to?
Pride Toronto make arrangements to include, as ex-officio members, representatives from important internal constituencies whose concerns have not historically been adequately addressed within the organization, including volunteers, the trans community, racialized communities, dykes, persons over 40, persons with a disability, and seniors.
(Mildly rewritten already.)
If I’m 66 years old, do I fall into two categories? Do I get two votes?
Why are we using the slang “dykes” but hyperformal terminology for four other enumerated groups?
Pride Toronto make explicit that it is a not-for-profit organization accountable to its membership, owned by its communities and vested with representing the interests, diversity and diverse sexual and perspectives of the Pride communities.
Rewrite the last clause to show what you mean, please. I’m not going to guess.